I do not use self-check out lanes.  I was at the grocery store and all the lines were long.  I’m trying to make a stand by not getting in the self check out lanes.  Why would I like to scan my own items? Bag my own ish and then pay the machine?

The other day I almost gave in and got in a self checkout lane.  I was tired and I thought shit I’m already tired but I’m not giving this multimillion dollar store free labor!  I thought about how the cashier need to have some passion about her job  because she needs to speed her $&@ up! Do she realize her competition is a machine?

She should be thankful I’m trying to save her glamorous job and she isn’t even appreciative. She needs to put a friendly tone in that ”did you find everything ok today”?  I need to hear my beeps when she scans items faster. I need to hear, beep, beep, beep instead of be..ep, be…ep, be…..eep. Dammit, give me that ish I’ll scan it myself!  Then when the transaction was completed she had the audacity to tell me to come back again. Oh you can believe when I come back I will be looking for your unconcerned a$& and I won’t be getting in your lane! If it comes down to her lane and self-checkout I might give up the cause.

The only thing that made this grocery trip bearable was the sample lady on aisle 10 with the cookies. I think I just solved the problem. Maybe she needs to have cookies at the register we can eat while she takes her sweet a%# time. Then we wouldn’t mind how slow she is moving. Wait… Maybe a bench too. We can just sit on the bench eating our snacks and she could just let us know when she completed the order. I need to be the store’s manager.