Cracking up and I can’t believe I’m blogging this. (Then again yes I can) I have a friend (who will see this post and I got her permission before posting this) She would be considered middle age’ish (yes I make up words) who is married. She said that her husband performance has slowed down quite a bit and she wants it more than he does. She said she have mentioned it to him on several occasions and he does have performance enhancement medication but hates to take it.
She told me that it’s gotten to the point where is cheating with him with Bob. I was so shocked that she would actually tell me she was cheating and then I started thinking do I know this Bob? I never heard her talk about Bob before. I was thinking do I dare ask her how did they met or maybe suggest she shouldn’t do anything to jeopardize her marriage? I thought ok if she’s bold enough to share this information then I can ask my personal questions.
She told me she had him a long time now. Now I was just shocked because I’m thinking well damn is this confession time and you know I’m not a priest right? You know this ish will give me a topic for my blog because I been struggling lately to find something to write about. She then told me that she felt guilty using him because she was sneaking behind her husband’s back. I was thinking duh that’s what cheaters do! I’m sure not many husbands would give their wives permission to cheat.
My stupid butt first question was girl what does he look like? Very high school I know. She said he was pink. I asked PINK? I started laughing and said I never heard anybody describe a person in the color of pink. I asked if he was a redhead white man? She started busting out laughing and asked me if I was are for real Stephanie? I asked what? She asked have you ever heard of Bob before? I said no this is the first time you told me about him. She was laughing uncontrollably now. She explained she was talking about a vibrator. Battery Operated Boyfriend. B.O.B. I know what it stood for and I even sold sex toys before. (Mind your business) Then I started laughing because this whole conversation took another turn. She said that if she was cheating do I think she would tell you? I said I was thinking why is she telling me she is cheating? We both laughed.
She explained that she has a vibrator but her husband don’t like her to use it and she uses it without his knowledge and she feels like she is cheating on him. Whew, what a relief. She wanted my advice I said. Hey a girl got to do what she have to do. It’s better than what I was imagining, I had you with a white redhead man that was knocking your boots off and it was so good that you confessed to me about it! I think you should keep your B.O.B. LOL