It’s gone, it’s been gone since February 25, 2018. My lost for words, my free spirit, my joy it’s all gone. I have tried to write this blog several times but tears stopped me and I couldn’t finish it. I just checked and I have six unfinished blogs on this subject.
I can’t formulate the right words to describe this experience. I feel like I’ve aged 10 years in such a short time. My eyes are swollen from crying. I am drained emotionally, physically, and any other…….ally. I’m still in shock and disbelief, my brother passed away at the age of 50 years old. So many questions are unanswered. Would he have survived if I made him go to the hospital? Did he know how much I loved him? Did he go peacefully? I’m hurting so much but I have to get this blog done maybe it will be a part of my healing process. I’m tired of tears of randomness. (I don’t know if this is spelled right but it didn’t tag it as misspelled) I’m going to hit the publish button because if I don’t I don’t know how long it will be before I do this again. Maybe my next one will be about my great memories with him but I just can’t do it now. Thanks for letting me ramble on….. signed the Stephanie of the Stephanie and Stephen (Steven).