(disclaimer, I found this pic off the internet from the above source)
I forgotten to tell the story about this child I almost spanked before I realized she wasn’t my family member and that I couldn’t do that. I was waiting for my brother and this little 3-4 year old cute and friendly girl came up to me. At first she was so sweet but then she became too touchy-feely. She kept invading my damn space. Her mom told her to leave me alone a couple of times. I started thinking I wish my brother’s bus would hurry up because I’m sick of this little girl. She used up all of my niceness and fake smiles a while ago.
We then received the news that the bus broke down. All hell naw, I can’t take anymore of this little sweetie. She then jumped in my damn lap and started pulling on my Michael Kors purse. (Sidebar: I’m not a designer brand person and I don’t own all designer purses so my damn Michael Kors purse is a big deal for me. There is no way in hell I’m going to let this little heifer ok I can’t call kids under 5 years old a heifer well hellish child is going to tear up my shit) At this point, I’m starting to use my “real voice” now. I was using my sweeter higher tone when speaking to her before but now I had to apply some authority in my tone and volume. STOP IT! That devil’s child look at me like “is that all she got”?
Her mom had walked away talking on the phone, loudly I might add. Then that little hellion started playing with the company’s computer. A guy shouted to her stop playing with that. Do you think her mom even looked around to see about her? I wanted to go over there and pinch her. I politely went to the mom and told her that the little devil in disguise was messing with that computer. She said ok. She went over to the little monster and told her to leave that alone and went right back to her conversation.
The She-Devil attention came back to me. Why me? She must didn’t know that I come from a long line of ass beaters. (auto check kept correcting my word and turned it to whooper) I beat (wait let me be politically correct) I spank asses, my mom spank asses, and my grandma spank asses and so on. This little girl was about to get one ass beating freshly cooked without pickles coming because she missed the fact I already gave her the eye! The famous eye look that will stop you in your damn track. The look said if you do ONE mo’ thang yo’ ass is grass! (See I went OLD school there) She started pulling on my damn purse again I grabbed her by her arm. You know that firm grip that you scoop your child/grand before you get ready to get that butt. I said oh Lord this is not my grand child. I told her to go to her mother. Her little ass left then but not before she stuck out her tongue at me. I had to really restraint myself then no this little …… didn’t just stick out her tongue to me. I need to go and spank her mother’s ass for not teaching her child how to act. I looked at her mother and decided I was too old now and I might want to pick a easier battle that I can win. I crack myself up!