Last week two of my friends shared some deep information with me. The kind of news where you want to take off your earrings and heels and put on your tennis shoes and apply Vaseline on your face because you are ready to fight. Both friend said they were so glad they called me because I made them laugh. I wasn’t trying to make them laugh. I was mad as hell. My advice to them was semi Christian? I was looking for a loop hole in my faith. I know Jesus will handle it but I wanted to put a little Janet on the situation (Janet is my alter ego). Both of these stories involved children and I can’t stand when people mess with kids and the elderly. I MAY (I’m pleading the fifth amendment) I said MAY have said something to the fact…..well I would have ____________\and then ask for forgiveness later.
My one friend is going to need counseling. Some people thinks counseling is a bad word including myself. That was until my own ass needed counseling. I will never forget the day, picture this it was in Sicily (wait that was the Tv show Golden Girls) okay I was working a job I totally hated but made decent money with benefits, my personal life was a mess except with my Mr. (Me love me some Mr ….this month. It’s the 3rd day of the month. LOL) I was a mess and didn’t know I was a mess. The people at work was asking me what was wrong with me? I wasn’t my normal happy go luck self. I wasn’t bouncing all over the place like Tiger on Winnie the Pooh. I told him my diabetes was acting up. (Lie) He told me “well take your ass to the dr and get that shit straight”. My dr must noticed something in me too. I had been going to her for many many years. I can’t remember what I went to see her for but she said I’ll be back and she came back with this stupid ass questionnaire. She wanted me to answer these questions. The answers was Not at all, some of the time, all of the time. My answers was ALL of the time to all the questions. Close your eyes and ears) MUTHER****** !!! I thought Oh shit! MY ASS IS CRAZY! The dr back was towards me and I was trying to take in this information I just discovered about myself. I’ll would have been ok if she just kept her back toward me until I could get it together. Damnit, she turned around and saw that I totally failed that damn popup quiz. I hate pop quizzes. I’ve never passed a popup quiz in my life. What the hell was going on with me? This was some major bull*** ( I think all my cuss words are used up for the day, I have a cuss word allowance) She sent me to a head shrink but I will tell you now the head shrink didn’t work. My head is the same size as it always was.