So you thought I was going to say fart? I was. Yes my subject to today is gas or fart, We all let out toots so why do everybody get so upset or don’t want to claim their fart? (I was at water aerobic on Friday where I’m the youngest person in attendance. The median age is 70 years old. I love my old…. well let me correct myself. I love my seasoned friends). Just before class started one of them was talking about cooking cabbage. (Not beans but cabbage don’t have a funny rhyme about gas) I said I love cabbage but it don’t love me. You would have thought I was a stand up comedian by the way they were laughing. I guess I touched a taboo subject. I know their old asses is probably tooting everywhere they go. I know because I’m getting older and a fart will up come out of nowhere. Yes I said fart.
I’ve heard ladies don’t fart they poot. That a bunch of bull. I can stand with the best of men when it comes to my farts. If I leave a clean up in aisle 3 you definitely would think a man left that stench because no way my sweet self could do that type of nose damage.
Sunday I was at church and it was one of those hurting your stomach ones. You know the type that you need to run away from folks or go down a deserted aisle in the store. Well I was early for church and nobody was around so the coast was clear and I gently released the gastric air while praying to the Lord it wasn’t loud or stinky. Please Lord, please! I was so relieved that it was neither stinky or loud. THANK YOU JESUS! (Okay not trying to offend anybody’s religion. Believe in who you want or don’t believe its up to you)? Back to farts. So since it didn’t stink or smell I thought I hope I didn’t put a hole in this pew! I checked the pew and it had withstood the direct hit. Whew that was good because I don’t have the money to replace the pew.
I read an article on Life Hack about smelling farts are healthy. I think I should receive an award or some kind of recognition for my part in keeping everybody healthy. I tried to link the article but I didn’t know how. You can google it for yourself. The title is: Why Smelly Farts Are Healthy Signs And Can Benefit People Around Us
By Sean Gonzalez
Thank you Mr Gonzalez for your article because of this article, I would like to start a coming out party for all farters. We will no longer live in the shallows of society! We will proudly announce our farts after giving society their whiff of healthiness! We will loudly proclaim our farts by saying “yes I did that and you’re welcome” We will no longer say excuse me but now we will wait to hear thank you for the receivers! Fellow farters UNITE! To join this movement call the 800 number 1(800)YES-FART. PLEASE DON’T CALL THIS NUMBER FOR REAL. I CRACK MYSELF UP!!!